he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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