man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
