For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
