then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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