somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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