His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize