we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
