Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the liver wants what the liver wants
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
