My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
