it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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