thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
