I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
