It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
