Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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(707): View more from California

It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.

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