It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
