There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
