well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
