Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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