I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
