If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
