Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
