I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
