i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
