My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm at about main and main street
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
