just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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