Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
