last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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