Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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