my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
