You're so nebulous sometimes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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