well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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