I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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