i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
