im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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