It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
