I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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