Ketchup is God's man juice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
