If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he shaved USA in his pubs
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize