I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Terrible idea I love it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
