I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
