Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
