Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
