just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
