I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
