She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
