No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize