coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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