what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
