can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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