Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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