So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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