to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
