The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
