i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
