...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
