I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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